A Year Flies By

To think...I haven’t written in over a year. Do you know how much happens in a year? Well...a lot. Since my last post, these are the things that happened:

Got engaged to the most amazing man...

Graduated from college...

Planned a wedding and got married...

 

Went on an incredible honeymoon...

Gained a whole new set of family...

 
Learned how to water ski (I promise that's me)...
 

 
And got my first job as middle school teacher of kids with emotional behavioral disorders.
 
Wow. What a year. There have been so many joys and blessings. Many unhappy tears as well. I think my job is the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life. I am only grateful that I have such an incredible husband who is supportive and loving through it all. We have definitely been learning a lot about marriage together so far and I love every minute of it.
 
Even though I often complain about how difficult my job has been for me, I think that even more difficult was losing my best friend. I am so incredibly happy for her joys and successes since she has been away, but not having her here in Florida is killing me. I think more than I like to admit. I miss her so very much. I cherish our long phone dates and hearing about her new experiences. I just can't seem to help but feel a ping of jealousy when she tells me about a new person she met or things she is doing that I can't be a part of. Pathetic I know, but true.
 

 
What a crazy year. I'll keep better track of this next year :)

Heartbroken He Must Be

It is amazing to me that I do not consider myself a lazy person, although I am. "Ashley, you should go write in your journal. Ashley, you should sit down and blog. Ashley, you should keep up with your friends. Ashley, you should go for a run," enters the persistent chatter into my brain. My reply? "Nah. I'll just sit here a while. I worked so hard today, I deserve to just sit here." RED FLAG. And as if those nagging comments were not motivating enough the last one that creeps in, "Ashley, come meet with me." I may think to myself, "Who is that? God? Yeah, okay. I'll come talk to you in a couple hours. Don't worry about it. I'll be there." RED FLAG. I never show up.

Just a thought:
What must it feel like to be God? Certainly a question I do not intend on answering, just pondering. If some person in my life told me every day, "Yeah, I'll meet you in an hour," and never showed up, I might be forgiving at first. The next time it happened I might become concerned, but my concern would quickly turn to anger after the 5th or 6th time (and if I'm honest probably after the 2nd or 3rd).

My laziness has crept into my life with baby steps and over taken me with the leap of a giant. I keep longing for my body to long for work, my mind to seek reflection, and my soul to be aroused, but nothing is moving. Everything remains stagnant, flirting with the path that leads towards entropy.

I must constantly be reminded that although God calls us to a life of faith and belief, he also calls us to a life of action. My heart can be set ablaze by the Holy Spirit, but my life will not change without obedient action. I have to physically walk out the door. I have to actually get off the couch. I have to open a book and pick up a pen. I have to ask myself tough questions. I have to answer to the King. There is such a delicate balance between resting in grace and carrying out action with obedience. No one said this was going to be easy.

Operation Make Chairs More Comfortable and Beautiful

I embarked upon a mission with my best friend Hannah last Friday. The mission you ask? Operation make chairs more comfortable and beautiful. It all started when I bought a table and six chairs from Craig’s List (very successful endeavor I might add). Upon getting everything home I realized that the chairs were quite uncomfortable, quite like sitting on a piece of plywood. Well, let’s face it that is all it was: a piece of plywood masquerading as a nice place to rest your bum.

I quickly began to gather supplies that would not completely empty my wallet. I found some great fabric for half price at a local craft store but when I went to look at batting and foam to place inside the fabric, I realized that this could get expensive quite quickly seeing as I would need several layers of batting so my search began for the fix. Where did I find such a thing? IKEA! I found some particularly unattractive (sorry if you like them) chair cushions that were on clearance for about $2.00 a piece so I bought six of them. I figured it would be pretty easy to rip off the fabric and use the foam inside. I soon enlisted Hannah so that if I went down, it would not be alone.

D-Day arrived with much warning from Hannah’s husband. Yes, apparently the staple gun is a tricky tool and much explaining and warning was needed. Thank you Carson. Hannah and I set to work as we quickly cut out the fabric we would be using to recover the chairs, took the ugly fabric off of the cushions I purchased, and removed the old fabric and single layer of batting under that. We had made it thus far without being injured so we figured we would venture on into the wilderness of home décor that lay ahead.

We trimmed the cushion to fit the plywood and then placed the single layer of batting over that. Next came putting one staple in each side of the batting to secure it in place. We then stretched the fabric over everything and stapled it down using many staples on all edges and corners. When we had reached the fifth or six chair, dazed by the tedious nature of stretching and stapling, Hannah placed the wrong end of the staple gun on the wood and began to pull the trigger. This left the stapling side dangerously close to her leg. Like something out of a movie my words tumbled out of my mouth in slow motion, “Haaannnaahhhh…Nnnnnnooooooooo!” She jolted from her monotonous train of thought and her leg was spared the puncture wound of an unforgiving staple. Phew. That was a close one. We soon finished the Operation and walked away new women. Women who can pretty much host their own show on HGTV now.

Here are a few pictures of our grand adventure:

The first is Hannah taking off the fabric from the cushions and cutting out the new fabric.

Then is my handy work of taking out all the old staples with an old pair of scissors.

Then stapling each sid of the batting to hold in the cushion.

Finally...the finished product!! The old chair with the new and improved chair!

Bringing Out the Kid in Me

It is incredible to me what a day at a theme park with great friends can do for your heart. Some times when you see a great spectacle for the first time, every time after that just isn't the same. Sure that great sight is still a little thrilling, still a little breathtaking, but nothing like that very first glimpse.

I never thought going to Sea World 5 times in 4 months could be that great, but please let me tell you that it is. I am still in awe when a dolphin glides by inches from my face or when it jumps out of the water to do flips. My eyes are still amazed to see the sheer size of one of the shamu whales (I think it is the oldest one). I still scream on Kraken, even though I have been on it too many times to count by now. I rode the rides in the kids area and still had fun (probably more fun than on the "adult" rides). I danced to the music in the background while walking from attraction to attraction. It really never gets old.

The one thing you would think I would be used to by the time I have reached the age of 21 is fireworks. I must have seen them at every 4th of July ceremony and most New Year's celebrations from the time I was 2, but they still have the ability to completely captivate me. As I watched the ending fireworks show at Sea World this past Saturday I found myself mouthing "wow" and wanting them to last forever. I eagerly waited to see what colors were going to burst forth from the high sailing rockets. Would these ones shoot sparkles of purple and green? Or would then streak golds across the night sky? Would this one peak with a loud POP!? Or would it crackle its way back down to Earth? I wanted the lights to dance forever, but I also knew from my years of experience that they would have to stop eventually. Nothing has ever made me feel more like a kid. I hope and pray that I never take these things for granted. That I never look at creation and am not amazed, that I am never too big to ride the little kid rides, and that I am never too busy to stop to watch the night, no matter if it holds the excitement of fireworks or the calm disposition of the shining stars.

The Days Ahead

Sometimes, I think I could wish my life away; this is one of those times. If wishes really took us places that were tangible and real, I could for certain wish today away. I wish I could take you to a memory that is safe and keep you there forever. I wish I could stop time the day we realized what friends we were and keep you from harm. I wish I could keep you in the balmy crisp days of summer. I wish I could have taken you with me. I wish I could protect you from every person who has tried and succeeded to break your heart. I wish I could keep your heart from breaking. I wish I could take away your pain and wear it myself. I wish I could catch every tear before it seeped through your eyelashes and spilled onto your porcelain cheek. I wish I had all the right words to soothe you. I wish things were not as they are. I wish you were closer. I wish I was closer. I wish I could make everything better again, that I could make the thunderous roar of the storm turn mute and warm you with sunshine.

But I can’t. I cannot save you. I am glad I can’t. If all my wishes turned true, you would not understand life, or the beautiful gift of grace and redemption that our Savior has given us. If I could save you, you would have no need for Jesus, and neither would I. My best friend…I really do wish I could go back to this day...







…and stay there a while. But then what use would we have for the days ahead of us? Let’s explore them dear friend, though they may be filled with pain, they also hold hope of joy. I love you.

The Joy in Baking

Something to know about me is that I love to cook, and especially to bake. It is very therapeutic to me and I find great joy in being able to create using food. I would like to say that cooking is my hobby.

I found a picture of a most beautiful dessert that I wanted to try, but I must admit it looked to be a daunting task. The picture was just so perfect! I decided to put my baking skills to the test, and came up with this...

The only thing different about my cake from the original, is that is is slightly sloping downward on one side and the piping is not the greatest (I am not perfect). I thought I would add the recipe here and some of my suggestions for the recipe seeing as this was a big hit at a bbq I attended. It is a great summer dessert full of light, lemon, and fresh fruit flavor.

Lemon Blueberry Cheesecake Torte

Ingredients:
1 package (16 oz) pound cake plus ingredient to make cake
2 lemons
1 ½ cups boiling water
2 packages lemon gelatin
1 package (8 oz) cream cheese
1/3 cup cold milk
1 container (12 oz) frozen whipped topping (thawed)
1 package cheesecake instant pudding mix
1 kiwi, peeled, sliced and cut in half
1 cup blueberries

Directions:
1. Prepare cake according to package directions.
Line a 10X15 pan with parchment paper. Pour batter into pan, spread evenly. When done, cool 10 minutes by taking the edges of the parchment paper and lifting out of pan.
2. Zest lemon in small bowl and set aside. Juice both lemons. Pour boiling water into small bowl, add gelatin and 3 Tbsp of lemon juice; reserve excess for filling. Stir gelatin until dissolved.
3. Invert cooled cake onto cutting board. Remove paper. Prick cake at ½ inch intervals with a toothpick. Slowly spoon gelatin mixture over cake, making sure to reserve about 2 tbsp of mixture. Trim cake ¼ inch around the edges and discard. Cut the cake crosswise into 3 equal layers.
4. In a bowl, combine cream cheese and 2 Tbsp lemon juice. Whisk together. Add milk and whisk until smooth. Spoon whipped topping over cream cheese mixture, and sprinkle pudding mix over as well. Mix all ingredients together using a rubber spatula. (mixture will be thick).
5. Place 1 layer of cake on a platter. Using a cake decorating bag and tip, fill with cream cheese mixture and pipe a straight border around edges. Place 3-4 scoops of filling in the middle and spread evenly to border. Top with second layer of cake and repeat. For third layer, pipe a decorative border around edge, spread evenly with remaining filling in center.
6. Arrange kiwi slices on cake. Add blueberries to reserved gelatin mixture (if it has settled, microwave for 5-10 seconds). Spoon blueberries over top, sprinkle with reserved zest. Garnish if desired.

My suggestions:
To make this cake slightly not as bad for you, I used sugar free fat free jell-o mix and sugar free fat free pudding mix. I also used Cool Whip "free" and 1/3 less fat cream cheese (neufchatel). A 10X15 pan is a rather large pan, but I used a 7 1/2 by 11 1/2 (ish) pan and my cake was still very thick (a little more than an inch) and I had to cut each layer in half almost. I would suggest using a large shallow baking pan to bake the cake in. If you do not own a piping bag/decorating tip for the piping work, you can buy a cake decorating tip at any craft store for about 99 cents, and then you can cut the tip of a ziploc bag to creat a homemade decorating bag.

Let me know how it turns out if you decide to make it and/or if you have suggestions of your own :)

*recipe revised from one I found in a pampered chef cook book

Numero Uno

I guess I will explain the title of my blog to start out with, that seems like the thing to do. It comes from a piece of Romans 14:4 where Paul is discussing the weak and the strong.

"To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand."

Isn't it lovely that we do not have to worry about completely falling because the Lord is able to make us stand? We do not have to questions whether we will stand or fall in any circumstance because we will stand. Even when you think you have hit rock bottom, you have not. God catches his loved ones before they are consumed by the fire.

I can not do it alone. I am able to stand because he is able to do it.